


I got my ears cleaned out for the first time

by Wintsty



Category: Original Work
Genre: Ear infection, Gen, author doesnt know how to stop typing lol, prose, too many words here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 23:27:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30079968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wintsty/pseuds/Wintsty
Summary: I can hear. I do not like it.
Kudos: 2





	I got my ears cleaned out for the first time

Life is hard when you’ve been half-deaf for three days. Almost a month, quarter-deaf. Maybe more. Sound then feels.. sluggish. 

Like a goldfish being thrown into cold tank water. Sure, it’s washed out and much cleaner than whatever grime and gross sat at the bottom of that week old bag. But it chills. It takes the sweeping siren of constant ringing and drwoned bubbly voices and manipulates it. This water is clean, but it hurts.

The once dull screech of my headphone cord dragging across the textured ridges of my laptop is now an angry voluminous fly, nearing closer and closer to the edge of my cartilage appendage without ever fully crossing the bar. The comfortable toss of my hair becomes a wave of coarse grass gritted against granite -my neck, and the scraping sound is almost too much for me to bear. At each turn i am faced with another loudness, another cacophony to entertain. The clean hurts me dearly. 

Even moments ago, tip-toe-ing the corridor of my hall, brother away to the woods and cat long astray to her perch on the cool concrete flooring downstairs, I am tracked down by these sounds. Made prisoner to them, against my waxy fighting will. Someone will understand this, I think, someone, when I write these thoughts of being completely chased down and pinned to the squishy outsides of my medicized brain and robbed of any valuables in the sense of my own worth- someone will understand- right? 

Such a small thought. A very large page. 

At least pages are quiet. And the tap-tap of my non-spring-loaded keys, with no flounce or flutter in the form of a furry cat friend or flower, the sound of my mouse click-click-clack-ing is familiar at the least. Something is stable and sane, I am sure. Secure.

If only I had slept, another though urges- if- stop. But if- no- we- come on. 

If only I had slept. Not had that coffee, not had such horrible allergies, cleaned my ears properly, cleaned my earbuds. Then

Maybe I wouldnt have noticed any difference at all. Maybe after the week it takes to feel normal again, when all my tap-taps and click-clacks and tip-tip-toes are once again faded sounds, present only to those sleeping parents and curious cat with the big ears…

Or maybe the next ear infection, I will lose half-hearing again -quarter-deaf, and happy- quarter joyful, in the simple sounds of birds that are big and large and not keys which are small and insignificant and tiny.

**Author's Note:**

> literally just a short digression on how i can hear again. if i actually bothered to polish this it would have more undertones but, it sort of just relates to my anxiety and adhd interfering with how i perceive sound and stuff. metaphors
> 
> do comment if you would like more stuff like this, would make my day


End file.
